The Old Man and the Tree

He stood and looked up at the tree, and wondered if it was dying. It looked kind of… dishevelled. It had some dead branches at the top that he could not remember seeing when he had been younger. He could not remember seeing so many insects on it either, and having climbed this tree hundreds of times he felt he would have noticed, unless youth and enthusiasm had somehow caused him to overlook what appeared to him now as streams of rather nasty looking ants, tufts of intimidating cobwebs, and thousands of tiny holes each no doubt occupied by some bitty type pest. He’d had it looked at, the tree. Looked at by someone who ought to know a dying tree when he saw one. But according to this guy anyway, a Level 5 Arborist as he’d repeatedly mentioned, the tree was fine.

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Writer’s Block! – Somebody Kill Me Please.

wpid-wp-1442232136529.pngWriter’s block; it’s like being constipated. There’s plenty of stuff in there, but it’s all shit. The solution, according to millions of websites, blogs, blurbs, books, ancient scrolls etc, is to write. What!? Idiots. If I could write I’d… Well, obviously I can write; it’s just that what I’m writing is so abysmally putrid it makes me want to projectile vomit, Continue reading

Cogito Ergo Run (I Think; Therefore I Run)

wpid-wp-1432726004563.jpegRunning. It’s torture yes. But the rewards! I don’t know what smack does for people: by all reports it’s pretty good. Running however is free! AND there’s no track marks, no risk of OD, and no need to go sell your ass on the street for 5 bucks a pop because your life has collapsed into a steaming pile of shit through insurmountable, humiliating and soul-destroying addiction. Continue reading